Walk through hell…

A journey to higher knowledge

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It is sad that the closest I will ever get to being close to human is when I am thoroughly intoxicated.

I do not care for people elsewhere. I do not think twice of killings. I do not care that people are being hurt or are starving. But I guess that is what you have to suffer with when you have a mind like mine. You know that you should care, but you can’t.

Alcohol is beautiful. It brings me the clarity. It brings me the once in… a half monthly chance to see the world for what it is. For the horrible demise of people who do not deserve it.

There is no god, so I have to make what I can of this world better than what I came into it as, if that makes any sense. I will make it better for my fore bearers  I will ensure that my forefathers will be proud in the knowledge that their seed did not go unhindered into the world in an attempt to make the planet a better place.


I hope I can keep this introspection up, because when I sober up, it will all go away. I will melt into a useless, unforgiving form that does not care for suffering.

I don’t want my loved ones to go to war. I go not want them to leave me. But now there is not going to be much choice. Maybe I should just leave. It would make things so much easier.


Written by tangerinelemons

October 27, 2012 at 3:30 pm

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Honestly, in light of this new movement, this sums it up perfectly.


“I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing Peezus, I wanna feel his approval all over my face.”

I’ve engaged in discussions on various A+ forums, using a number of different accounts.  It shouldn’t surprise anyone that this one was quickly banned.  It shouldn’t also surprise anyone that the typical counter-argument was “You’ve got to read more.”

No, I don’t need to read more.  I’m here to talk to you, the A+ supporter.  If you’re not capable of rationally discussing your position, then it’s not worth holding.

If your position is so weak that you ban people for dissenting and asking questions, your position is false.

Rational arguments need not apply.  Facts get tossed out.  What’s important is creating a “safe zone” for people to discuss…. something.  Anyone who asks “what are we discussing?”  gets banned.

The entire A+ social network is about pleasing people.  Facts and…

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Written by tangerinelemons

October 22, 2012 at 6:29 am

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Recovering from my faith; finding a purpose as an Atheist

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I’m starting to gain momentum in my will to live. Every day, I am coming across more and more wonderful things to explore. And this is what I believe makes atheism so beautiful. It gives you the truth straight up about life, and gives you a chance to experience that life in the short time period your body has evolved to experience.

A simple thread, such as “What song would you like to listen to before you die?” made me deeply think about all the musical and artistic experiences I was missing out on, by not exploring artistic tastes. How terrible it would be to die without having listened to some of the most beautiful sonnets and ballads classical and modern music have to offer!

This is where atheism differs from Christianity. Christians are told to avoid things that do not honor Christ (same for some muslims who honor Mohammad), even if they are quite beautiful. I know of some people who love Johnny Cash, but refuse to listen to his haunting rendition of “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails, because they believe that Nine Inch Nails is a satanist band!

Atheism gives me hope. It has opened my eyes to all these amazing experiences, that I feel are often ignored or completely avoided by the religious, for no other reason than that someone told them not to! It has no detrimental effect upon them to study science or listen to music, but they avoid it like the plague.

While stewing in my ‘faith’, I found myself surrounded by dreary, sad, repressed people with no will to live, except to pray every day for a will to be given to them by god. Camping trips and bible study was full of negative messages about our ‘sin’, and how we were so bad as people… without having done anything bad! I saw people hold up their babies, and beg of god to wipe the sin of this small child. It baffled me. Why put yourself down, and avoid these lovely experiences in our world?

I wake up every morning with a new vigor. I want to go into university each day to study. I want to sit outside in the fresh air, reading and writing. I want to enjoy gaming with my friends online. And I do this because I know that in my short time here, I may as well enjoy myself.

Written by tangerinelemons

September 21, 2012 at 11:58 am

Stop telling me to “Give god a chance”

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“Give god a chance”? “He works in mysterious ways”?

How are these valid arguments? Every bloody time I hear them, they infuriate me. A lot of us HAVE given him a chance. In fact, we still consider that he has plenty of chances to show himself in our daily lives. Out of all the ways he could show himself, out of all the quantifiable questions he could satisfy, he does none of this.

My SO gave god 23 years of waiting for his “mysterious ways”. He dedicated his life for the ‘glory’ of the voices inside Abrahams head. And what did he receive?

23 years of physical and emotional abuse.

While the plural of anecdote is not data, this story hits home to me the most, because I can see the recurring effects of the damage this cult has done to the man I love, even after he has left the faith. He is not the only damaged one I see in my life. So many of my friends and family have had their lives controlled, and then torn apart, over an imaginary friend.

He gave god a chance. And now that he lives his life without this weird concept of ‘faith’, his life has become much less stressed. When you don’t have to worry about the basic thoughts you have in your head, and instead can just sit back, and enjoy the life you are given, then it makes it a lot easier to deal with.

God had his chance.

Written by tangerinelemons

September 10, 2012 at 9:20 pm

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Religion; the breeder of ignorance

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Everything is answered. ‘God’ made it all, didn’t he? See, no more to think about! Just go on with your daily lives…


Even with my coerced former faith, this line of thinking was so irrational in my mind that I could not accept it. I guess that was what planted the first seed of doubt. How on earth could I be content with a life, and a world, that caused me so much pain? Why shouldn’t I improve what I have, rather than sit and be content with what ‘God’ has given me.


Upon abandoning my faith for my own sanity, I found that these sorts of arguments are what I ran head first into as soon as I told someone about my beliefs (or lack there of). They kept on maintaining that their way was correct, that ‘God’ had a plan for us… that we shouldn’t really develop any further. It is almost an anti-intellectualism line of thought; do not expand from what you already know.


Of course, most people have already realised this, and have spent their lives trying to help these people. This cult of faith, this willful ignorance is bringing our civilization down. Refusing to believe in climate change because ‘God’ said he would take care of the earth? Squander our resources because Christ is coming in our lifetime? This selfish way of thinking is prolific among these people.


It’s hard to have hope for the future of humanity when these kinds of people rule the world’s biggest super power. But I guess it starts out with seeds of doubt.


Written by tangerinelemons

September 6, 2012 at 6:20 am

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The “God” excuse

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You’re going to hell.

Yes you. You in the back there! You reading this article, sitting, most likely alone, reading atheist blogs on the internet. Apparently you are worthy of eternal hell fire. Why?

Because you have not accepted ‘Jesus’.

This is what has always bugged me. Once you accept ‘Jesus’ (excluding the people called Jesus, NOT claiming to be the messiah), you’re fine. Everything is erased. You are a cleansed human, worthy of a boring eternity of fluffy clouds and stringed instruments.You do not need to be reprimanded for your previous misdoings.

Not only does the humanistic justice system abhor this sort of ignorance of past mistakes (and the lack of need of rehabilitation), but it also brings around an excuse for ‘God’ to send people to hell. It gives people a reason to believe that even though there may be a hell, people ‘choose’ not to be saved, there by justifying this eternal damnation.

So, if these people KNOW about how they can avoid this pain, yet DON’T, why should these Christians feel sorry for them?

The Bible/Koran/Torah and ‘God’ give these people a reason to excuse the persecution of groups whom they do not agree with. They assume that these atheists/gays/other religions know about the eternal suffering they ‘will’ face, and how to avoid it, yet they don’t. So they assume that they must be against ‘God’. So now, they have reason to shun and discriminate against these groups, who have done nothing more than be different from the norm.

While I understand that hell is just a metaphor to scare people into a cult, most religious people do not see that. They see only fear and pain in hell, and want to help those around them to avoid it. If those people don’t want to avoid said ‘hell’, then they are worthy of becoming a social outcast.

‘God’ is their excuse.

Written by tangerinelemons

September 4, 2012 at 11:31 am

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Beauty in reason

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Faith taught me to see the darkness in the world; to avoid it while heavily discussing it in our day to day lives.


Faith taught me to not question the beauty in the world, but to accept it and move on; to thank god and to not investigate any further.


Faith taught me to give up large quantities of my life in the pursuit of a baseless promise.



Seeing things now with the mindset of an atheist has opened up new ways of thinking about the beauty around me. Even now, theists tell me that I can never appreciate the beauty in the world, because I quantify it with chemistry or physics. For some reason, they believe that we can not appreciate art unless it has an artist we can congratulate.


The more I thought about the beauty I saw and could appreciate, the more I saw that being able to investigate the beauty was much more interesting than just thanking god. Why not investigate? Chemical changes can be beautiful physically and drawn on paper. The way our mathematics can help explain the physical world, and help our minds to predict and perceive physical happenings is much more beautiful than an anonymous god just ‘making it so’.


These mathematical equations and chemical reactions did not take the beauty out of what I saw, but instead added to it. While theists are saddened that we can predict chemical, astronomical, physical and mathematical probabilities, atheists can see the beauty in not only being able to predict and see, but also to explore further into what we do not fully understand yet.


Science gives us the tools to look further. Religion gives us a blindfold.

Written by tangerinelemons

September 4, 2012 at 2:32 am

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